Adventures of David the Douch Bag: Episode 1

Episode I: Getting Ready For The Fucking Day
It is a beautiful day in the medium sized town David lives. It is called Cow Vill. He is woken up by the sun shining on his face. He struggles to roll over in his king size bed. The folds around his stomach makes it hard for him to move around. He coughed violently; wheezing and panting as he spit on the bed sheets. He then blew his nose on his bed sheets. He reached for his hand mirror on the side table. He looked at his grease and sweat covered face. He popped some pimples and rubbed the pus on his bed sheets. He rolled off the bed and waddled over to his giant closet. He threw on some expensive cloths on. He waddled down the stairs and demanded his breakfast to his servants. He grabbed his whip and started whipping everyone in sight. The slaves and servants screamed and ran around the house. David laughed like crazy and grabbed one of the servants.
"Where is my breakfast?" he demanded.
"They are cooking it right now, sir!" squeaked the servant.
"How dare you speak to me? You are now demoted to a SALVE!" said David.
David stomped around the house screaming and whipping servants and slaves. David's mom approached him.
"David, please use indoor voices," she said. "And get ready for school. You are gonna miss the bus again."
David went back upstairs to retrieve his school sack. He then went outside to the bus stop to wait for the school bus to pick him up. When it arrived he squeezed in through the narrow doors and sat down in the back of the bus. As the bus inched its way to school, David felt the need to bully someone. His nostrils flared as he looked around the bus. There was a bucket of cockroaches in the corner. It was some kid's science project. David picked up a book from his book bag and threw it at the bucket of cockroaches. It knocked over and cockroaches spilled everywhere. They scattered and spread like wild fire. They crawled all over the seats and people. Everyone screamed and went wild. David laughed as the cockroaches bit the girl next to him. The cockroaches even went on the bus driver. The bus driver panicked and lost control of the school bus. The school bus plowed into bunch of school children.